Steven Joyce’s $11.7 billion hole claim to be proven correct – economist

A leading economist says Steven Joyce’s 2017 claim that Labour had a hole in its planned spending will soon be proven correct.

Ahead of the 2017 election, then-Finance Minister Steven Joyce alleged Labour had an $11.7 billion hole in its planned spending and would break its Budget Responsibility Rules to reduce crown debt to 20 percent of GDP.

Labour denied the claim and a list of economists at the time agreed there was no hole.

But questions about the Government’s financial management have re-emerged after Finance Minister Grant Robertson announced on Thursday it would shift its crown debt target from 20 percent to a range of 15-25 percent from 2021/2022.

“Beyond the Budget Responsibility Rules, our fiscal intentions in this Budget will signal a shift to a net debt percentage range, rather than a single figure,” Robertson said.

“This range is consistent with the Public Finance Act’s requirement for fiscal prudence, but takes into account the need for the Government to be flexible so that it can respond to economic conditions.”

On The AM Show on Friday, economist Cameron Bagrie said the Government was facing “fiscal challenges” after host Duncan Garner asked if there would indeed be a hole in the years ahead and the Government would need to borrow more.

“When Labour came into power and delivered their plan, they had spending front-loaded but they didn’t leave much wriggle room for the out years or the unexpected,” he told host Duncan Garner.

“Things such as teacher pay, public sector wage demands – I don’t think they factored that in and we know those demands are becoming pretty ferocious and they are pretty expensive.

“So they are going to need more wriggle room for 2021/2022.”

Garner said that had been Joyce’s view.

“He [Joyce] said what they haven’t taken into account are the wage demands or the pay rounds of Labour’s old mates… Joyce was right,” Garner said, to which Bagrie agreed.

“He is going to be right, technically I think his number of $11.7 billion – the real number is going to be a little bit bigger than that,” said Bagrie.

But currently, despite wage demands, the Government hasn’t been left without cash. While Joyce claimed it’s net core Crown debt wouldn’t fall below 23.5 percent of GDP by 2022, Treasury is forecasting it will reduce to 19.1 percent of GDP in 2021/2022.

The Government’s decision to change the crown debt target also wouldn’t come into force until after June 2022 – beyond the period Joyce was referring to when he said there would be an $11.7 billion hole

Bagrie said regardless of the shift, the Government’s new future Crown debt range numbers were still “world class”.

“Whether the crown debt is 20 percent of GDP or 25, they are still world class numbers at the good end of the spectrum.”

He also encouraged the focus to not be on how much is being borrowed, but rather the quality of the spending and if it was achieving positive outcomes for Kiwis.

“The Government has got a big balance sheet, we shouldn’t be afraid to use that balance sheet for productive good, but it has to be good policy as opposed to quantity spending.

“You have the economy slowing up… we should be throwing a little bit more money into the economy to help pick things up. But of course, if you are going to spend a little bit more money during the tougher times, you have to have the ability to rein things in during the other times.”

He said he didn’t see rating agencies changing their credit rating for New Zealand.

The Finance Minister has been contacted for comment.


The latest broken promise

by Christie on May 24, 2019 at 8:00am
Photoshopped image credit: Pixy

One of the things we were promised by this government was an adherence to the fiscal responsibility rules, meaning that government spending would remain within certain parameters, to allow for reducing debt and paying for existing services. Socialist governments are famous for spending money like there is no tomorrow; after all, it is other people’s money. This government promised to be different. By promising to adhere to the rules around fiscal responsibility, they essentially claimed that they would be as responsible with taxpayers’ money as was the previous government.

Well, guess what? 18 months in, that promise just went out the window, along with just about everything else they ever promised. This government really is a joke. quote.

The Government this morning announced that it will shift its debt target from a single figure to a percentage range.

Finance Minister Grant Robertson explained the Government is looking at a range of around 15 to 25 per cent of the GDP.

“Essentially, our current 20 per cent target falls in the middle of the new range that will exist from 2021/22 onwards,” Robertson said in a speech this morning to the Craigs Investment Partners investor conference.

end quote.

Don’t you just love the way this government treats its voters like idiots? So let us just stop and think for a minute as to exactly why they might want to move from a specific target to a ‘range’. Then let’s be honest. They are not doing this because they want to reduce debt, are they? No. They want to increase debt by an extra 5%. And don’t forget – this is after their little ‘off balance sheet’ trick with debt for Kiwibuild that they pulled last year. quote.

This would give the Government wriggle room to spend more – potentially up to $15 billion – based on the additional 5 per cent of GDP available to them.


Alternatively, it could opt to spend a little less and aim to further pay down debt. end quote.

Take it from me. They are not doing this so that they can pay down debt. If that was their aim and it was actually possible, we would know about it, as they would be shouting from the rooftops about how prudent they are. quote.

National Party finance spokesperson Amy Adams said the move was an admission of defeat on fiscal responsibility.

“This is a blunt admission the Government can’t manage the books properly, it is not wriggle-room. This makes the fiscal hole look like a puddle,” she said.

“This decision will mean billions of dollars more debt because the Government can’t manage the books properly and wants to spend up on big wasteful promises in election year.” end quote.

Yes, it will. It wants to bribe the voters. Remember Helen Clark’s interest free student loans bribe in 2005? We are probably looking at a repeat of something like that. With a slowing economy though, that is the last thing they should be doing. quote.

But Robertson said the move to a range reflected the fact that circumstances could change over time and did not necessarily mean moving to the outer limit.

“A range gives governments more capacity to take well-considered actions appropriate to the nation’s circumstances,” he said.

“It establishes boundaries within which debt is kept to sensible and sustainable levels and where fiscal choices are driven by impact and value,” Robertson said.

A newspaper. end quote.

Yes Grant. Of course, you are managing the economy brilliantly. Oops. I just had to duck out of the way of a flying pig.

“Zip it, stupid!”

by Suze on May 24, 2019 at 9:00am

How do you feel about the government passing a law to give police and media control over what you say or post on social media?

Pretty soon it will be illegal to say and write anything that anybody considers offensive. No lines will be drawn in the sand, no guidelines laid down, the sole measure will be whether somebody chooses to be offended.

Shutting windows, drawing curtains and locking doors won’t keep Jacinda Ardern out of your home or your conversation.

The law Ardern wants will dictate what we are allowed to talk about. It will effectively be censorship on the fly, and another draconian measure to morph New Zealand into New Draconia.

Proponents of introducing hate speech law argue that it leads to violence and terrorism. You can make up your own mind about this, but what you think doesn’t actually matter.

Along with NZ 16 other countries and Facebook, Microsoft, Twitter, Google and Amazon have signed the “Christchurch Call” pledge. Facebook explains their commitment to the pledge. Quote.

…we are sharing concrete steps we will take that address the abuse of technology to spread terrorist content, including continued investment in technology that improves our capability to detect and remove this content from our services, updates to our individual terms of use, and more transparency for content policies and removals.” End of quote.

Facebook Newsroom

If you think this sounds like big brother watching, you are not alone. Quote.

Dr Bronwyn Howell, a programme director at Victoria University and an adjunct scholar at the American Enterprise Institute, has closely followed the developments in Paris and outlines exactly what the pledge entails. She is extremely concerned, however, that the process has been hijacked for political purposes:

“At first glance the pledge appears, as intended, a positive example of collaborative negotiation toward a self-governing regime… A deeper examination, however, leads to a more worrying conclusion.

While governments have agreed to a range of difficult-to-enforce aspirational goals, the tech companies have agreed to take a number of concrete, observable, and measurable steps on which it will be much easier to hold them explicitly accountable.

“In the bargaining of the summit, they have agreed in effect to act as the agents of the governments in delivering their political objectives of countering ‘distorted terrorist and violent extremist narratives’ and engaging in ‘the fight against inequality’.”

NZCPR end quote.

Here you have it – the fight for equality is simply a licence to censor your views under the guise of preventing terrorism. Quote.

Picture a dinner party where half the guests are university graduates with prestigious white-collar jobs, with the other half consisting of people who are trade workers, barmaids, cleaners and labourers. While one side of the table trades racy jokes and uninhibited banter, the other half tut-tuts this “problematic” discourse.” End of quote.

Currently, the white-collar brigade are forced to take disagreeable opinions on the chin, but under the proposed law changes they could single out individuals for inciting hatred (hate speech) and make a police complaint.

Claire Lehmann reported on the Australian media reaction after the recent surprise election result. Quote.

[…] the intellectuals, activists and media pundits who present the most visible face of modern leftism are the same people openly attacking the values and cultural tastes of working and middle-class voters.

And thanks to social media (and the caustic news-media culture that social media has encouraged and normalized), these attacks are no longer confined to dinner-party titterings and university lecture halls.

Brigid Delaney, a senior writer for Guardian Australia, responded to Saturday’s election result with a column about how Australia has shown itself to be “rotten.” End of quote.

Rotten? Really? Delaney dehumanises her political opponents, they are not people anymore, they are rotten fruit. Quote.

One well-known Australian feminist and op-ed writer, Clementine Ford, has been fond of Tweeting sentiments such as “All men are scum and must die.”

Former Australian Race Discrimination Commissioner Tim Soutphommasane, who also has served as a high-profile newspaper columnist, argues that even many mainstream political positions—such as expressing concern about the Chinese government’s rising regional influence—are a smokescreen for racism.” End of quote.

Claire Lehmann writing for Quillette

In other words, if you dare to disagree with me, I have the means to silence you.

This is the government’s plan for New Draconia, and this is how you can expect to be treated under the proposed elitist hate speech law.

Minister of Finance fails GDP question

by WH on May 23, 2019 at 9:00am
Photoshopped image credit: Pixy

Oh dear, oh dear! Ardern did not know the difference between GDP and the Crown financial accounts and now the Minister of Finance, Grant Robertson has displayed his ignorance about GDP for all to see. Quote.

Hon Paul Goldsmith: To the nearest billion dollars, what is an additional 1 percent GDP growth worth to New Zealand?

Hon GRANT ROBERTSON: I believe it’s about $800 million.

Hon Paul Goldsmith: $800 million?

Hon GRANT ROBERTSON: About that.

Hon Paul Goldsmith: Does he think that the people of New Zealand would expect their Minister of Finance to know that 1 percent of GDP is about $3 billion and that’s the amount of money that we’ve missed out on given the sharp decline in growth in the past year? End quote.


Please get out your calculator and follow along:

To quickly estimate one percent of a number, divide by 100. This can be easily achieved by moving the decimal point two places to the left. So 1% of, say, 293 would be 2.93. Or 3 to the nearest whole number.

See, that wasn’t so hard, now was it?

Back to the question in the house, “To the nearest billion dollars what is 1% of GDP?” And Robertson did not know!

If 1% of GDP was $800 million, the question was, “To the nearest billion” so Robertson should have answered, “One.” So Robertson failed English comprehension as well as finance.

The Minister of Finance, responsible for allocating the expenditure has no idea of the size of the New Zealand economy, he was out by a factor of nearly four. He thinks the New Zealand economy is a quarter of the size it actually is.

That is an F for Fail – Roberston. Well played Mr Goldmith, well played!

Screen grab: Whaleoil

I promise to be the first in

by WH on May 22, 2019 at 9:00am
Screen grab: Whaleoil

Today, 21 May 2019 a team entered the Pike River mine drift tunnel. Was Winston Peters there as he promised in 2016 and reaffirmed in 2018? Nope! Just another failed empty promise from the master of failed empty promises. Quote.

Deputy Prime Minister Winston Peters is sticking by his promise to be the first person to re-enter the Pike River mine drift.

Mr Peters first made the promise in front of Pike River families in December 2016, saying: “I’m that confident on the expert advice that you have, that I’m offering to be on the first party back in.”

During the post-Cabinet news conference on Monday afternoon, he reaffirmed the pledge.

“I made that statement a long time, before anybody wanted to enter the mine because I do have an experience of mining or working underground… so it’s nothing new in terms of danger,” he said. End quote.

Newshub 18 June 2018

Quote. Winston Peters said the re-entry was a “victory for the families who are fighting tirelessly for answers”.

“Re-entry into Pike River is about justice. It’s about finding out the truth, and it is about doing what’s right for the families of those 29 men,” the New Zealand First leader said. End quote.

A Newspaper

So where’s Wally Winston? Piking out in parliament, certainly not at Pike River.

Mike’s Minute: No magic trick will save KiwiBuild

Video here.

The Government’s underwrite KiwiBuild trigger has been pulled again. This is the second time, and this time it is seven homes in Christchurch and Auckland.

Under KiwiBuild rules, if a developer’s house doesn’t sell within 60 days, they can get the Government to buy it off them. That’s you and me buying houses we don’t need, because the whole concept of KiwiBuild was a cock-up from day one.

Why aren’t these homes selling in a housing crisis? Well because there wasn’t, and isn’t, a housing crisis. That is a political term invented by Labour when in opposition for cheap points.

Further, the houses for sale aren’t affordable. If they were, they would have sold. They are basically market-priced and therefore compete with every other house on the open market.

The current climate is subdued, and it’s subdued in no small part due to the fact the government that built the houses, spooked the market, and introduced a series of policies that spooked the economy.

Hence the lack of confidence, hence the slowdown in growth, hence the slowdown in housing, hence the lack of sales.

Treasury, need I remind everyone, told us early on the homes weren’t affordable, and only a third of those who could even think of applying had the income to support the mortgages that would be required.

Further, and I hate to kill the Government’s major idea with facts, but the number of first home buyers currently in the market is as high as it has ever been. In fact, in many areas it’s at record levels.

That perhaps indicates the so-called “locked out” weren’t locked out at all – they were just busy getting on with buying a house.

Not many of them turned out to be built by poor old Phil Twyford, who must surely be in line for a major re-shuffle after the Budget when the Prime Minister re-jigs her Cabinet.

Presumably she’ll remodel along the lines of capability and progress, as opposed to length of service, dedication, and idealistic clap-trap that doesn’t turn out to be real. Mind you, given the way she’s handled Twyford’s mess to this point, not to mention Lees-Galloway and Curran, who can tell? He might be promoted.

Anyway, back to the houses. They have built next to none of them. Not the 1000 promised in year one, not even 100. At last count, 70-something. Of those 70-something, 40-something were already under construction under National, so they’ve built next to none.

At least a dozen or so haven’t even sold, and have now been bought by us, thus taking away from the original plan, which was to use the money from the sales to build more houses. You can’t use money you don’t have, from sales that never happened, can you Phil?

I cannot wait to hear the details of the KiwiBuild reset which allegedly is due any day now. I suspect it will be released on a Friday at five o’clock after we’ve gone to the pub, so they can pray they bury it for the weekend.

But I doubt Houdini, Copperfield, and Penn and Teller all working together could pull this particular rabbit out of the shambles of a hat Twyford’s left with.

Government buys Kiwibuild houses

by Christie on May 22, 2019 at 8:30am
Phil Twyford Photoshopped image Credit: Pixy

The government’s flagship policy, Kiwibuild is more laughing stock than housing stock. First, after 18 months, only 80 houses have been completed, after promises that 1,000 would be built by July 2019. It is fair to say that this target is not going to be met, and the government has given up on its targets anyway, citing them as ‘unhelpful’.

As if that isn’t bad enough, the government underwrote the building of Kiwibuild houses, meaning that it would buy the houses off developers in the unlikely event of them not being sold. With a housing crisis, and so many first time buyers ‘locked out’ of the housing market, this would never happen, but just in case, the guarantee was there.

Well, guess what? quote.

The Crown underwrite for unsold Kiwibuild homes has been triggered for a second time.
The first was in April for five homes in Wanaka’s Northlake development.

Now lack of sales in Mike Greer’s development in Canterbury and Auckland means the government has had to buy back seven more.

end quote.

Canterbury and Auckland are both areas where you might well expect there to be a significant demand for housing, particularly Auckland. quote.

As a way to encourage developers to work with the government to build Kiwibuild homes, the Crown provides an underwrite.

If the houses remain unsold after 60 days, the developer can trigger the underwrite and require the government to buy them back at a discounted price. end quote.

So, 80 houses have been built, and so far the government has had to buy back 12.

Not exactly a roaring success, is it? quote.

Four are in Auckland, and three in Canterbury.

A Kiwibuild spokesperson said the programme should be looked at in its entirety, for example strong sales in Tauranga.

RNZ. end quote.

Maybe, but nothing alters the fact that 15% of the Kiwibuild houses built so far have fallen under the government guarantee. If the project was ever successful enough to build its promised 100,000 houses, that would be potentially 15,000 that the government would have to buy back.

Fortunately, the project will never get anywhere near building 100,000 houses, so the losses to the taxpayer are mitigated purely by the government’s incompetence.

That is really scary when you think about it.

The problem was that the government campaigned on private housing during the election, and completely forgot that the housing market is cyclical. High demand means high prices, but that demand always tails off at some point. By the time the fanfare had died after the announcement of the grand scheme of Kiwibuild, the market had already begun to soften. Some of this was due to projects started by the previous government coming to completion, during their ‘nine years of neglect’. Some of it was due to softening of prices and demand in key residential areas. For all that we heard of the myriad of people ‘locked out’ of the housing market, just about everyone I knew who wanted to buy a house managed to do it, and not one of them bought a Kiwibuild house. The market took care of itself, as markets always do.

The government sailed ahead with its interventionist policies, convincing themselves, and anyone else who would listen, that they were the saviours of the downtrodden. The fact that the downtrodden have turned up their noses at Kiwibuild properties in Wanaka, Canterbury, Auckland and by all accounts, New Plymouth is unfortunate.

I have always said that the government should stick to funding state housing, and leave the private housing market to it own devices. Instead, they blundered ahead blindly, at what will obviously be a considerable cost to the taxpayer. There does look to be one silver lining though. With over 11,000 people on the waiting list for state houses, there will probably be a few more available than the government was expecting… thanks to Kiwibuild. That is all very well, but this was never the government’s intention. What a bunch of incompetent fools they really are.

When only one eye is open, and not looking at anything else

Dieuwe de Boer

When Journalism Dies, Only Activism Remains

Disclaimer: I haven’t watched Newshub’s “Because It Matters” show, as no one bothered to recommend it to me. I have, however, read a few articles on it and watched a few short related interviews. My interest in this series is due to Paddy wanting to interview me for it (don’t laugh too hard), and you can read about that in an article I wrote last week. Newshub also contacted other conservatives about being interviewed for what they claimed was a little series on “right-wing views”.

The main exposé seems to be aimed at one notorious neo-Nazi Phil Arps. This is a bit short of the rampant white supremacy we were promised, but supposedly it’s just an appetiser. (Let’s hope they didn’t lead with their best, else this series will be a snooze.) Arps is quite a disturbed individual who left a pig’s head at a mosque several years ago and likes to talk about killing Jews and Muslims.

In an interview, Patrick Gower is almost reduced to tears when explaining how Arps only got an $800 fine for this and gloated about it on video. He complains there aren’t harsh penalties and special “hate crimes” for scum like Arps. I hate to break it to you Paddy, but the New Zealand legal system (it would be a crime to refer to it as “justice”) is a joke across the board. Criminals can get home detention for bloody murder. We’ve got rapists and paedophiles walking our streets. How often have you cried about that?

Patrick Gower isn’t too worried about the state of the ex-justice system, he’s just worried that his political enemies might not get the jail time he wants for them.

This is where we come to the main problem with Newshub’s series: it’s not about journalism, it’s just political activism designed to push for changes to our laws.

It appears they haven’t even done much original research either. A third-party group of soy-latte sipping social justice warriors called Paparoa has done all the groundwork. They have a special website with a secret list of all the white supremacists out there. Good on them, I’d say, but there is a catch. There always is.

This Marxist group has an agenda. They’re not just after white supremacists and neo-Nazis, they’re also looking to bump off some of their conservative opponents and any other figures who might be critical of Islam. Would you be surprised to read that I’m on their list of “the organised far right in New Zealand“? I’m flattered, but it does call into question the validity of their lists and entire programme. What else might they be lying about? They’ve made it a useless resource by mixing in their prejudices against myself and others with, what I assume to be, profiles of actual white supremacists. That’s the problem, once you know they’re willing to lie about me then without external knowledge you can’t know if anything else they’ve written is true.

Even my good friend Elliot Ikilei gets an honourable mention on their list, although in a slightly bigoted fashion—they think he’s too dumb to figure out all of his friends are apparently white nationalists. The bonus there is that they appear to be very worried about the potential of the New Conservative Party.

Let’s get back to the docu-drama series from Newshub. The same crowd that won’t be reporting accurately on the Tarrant trial is giving kids a tutorial on how to access white supremacist material online. They’ve gone from “we won’t show or promote white supremacist material” to “here’s how to access a global network of white supremacy with a few clicks” in the space of around one week. Did they run into some sudden cash flow problems? Oh, wait, what’s this?

There appear to be some market forces at work. After Tarrant, the media has realised that such stories sell very well indeed. It’s clear that the demand for white supremacy is outweighing the supply. Like all good manufacturers, when the demand outweighs the supply, they just make more. This used to be an overseas phenomenon most recently perfectly exemplified in the case of African-American actor Jussie Smollett claiming to be the victim of a hate crime. It was a hoax. It turned out that he had to hire two Nigerians to pretend to be white supremacists and assault him. It’s the only recorded case of an American ever scamming Nigerians.

Even when Newshub is doing something good, like showing the despicable Phil Arps delivering a pig’s head to a mosque, they follow it up with a bunch of groveling apologies about how hard it was to show. It’s a bit of a mess, and quite sad to see former journalist turn into melting snowflakes, or at the very least, presume their audience is filled with snowflakes and kids needing tutorials on how to join the chan network. Thrown into that mix is Patrick Gower demanding a rematch with some Canadians who got the best of him in an “interview”.

This brings us to the crux of the matter: Lauren Southern and Stefan Molyneux broke Patrick Gower. It’s been nearly a year since they graced our shores, but their ghosts still haunt the halls of Newshub HQ.

You can see where this is all going. Paddy has recast Southern and Molyneux as “white supremacists” and tied them into the Christchurch terrorist attacks. As I’ve documented elsewhere, he’s not the first to try that, but he has ramped the drama up a few notches. You know who’s next in their sights? Anyone who supports either of them or might agree with some of their views. (That’s you, dear reader.)

If Paddy has been on all the chatrooms and forums, then why doesn’t he know what bone fide white supremacists think about Lauren Southern? Even I get the occasional little picture posted of me with “Jew” written over it in red. (I’m not Jewish, but thanks for asking.) I’ve never visited the chan network, but based on the comments they leave on her YouTube channel, I’d assume it gets a lot worse down there in the dark corners of the net.

Paddy’s not genuinely after exposing white supremacy, it would be commendable if he were, but he’s just trying to make more of it in a desperate attempt to keep Newshub relevant. In the crazy Marxist world that seems to be collapsing around them, anyone who isn’t one of them is deemed “far right” and put into the same basket.

We shall see if journalism decides to make a comeback, but until then the partisan activists masquerading as journalists can keep wondering why we don’t want to talk to them. Why would we waste our time when the end product will be fake news regardless of what we say or don’t say?

They really are the enemy of the people and the enemy of the truth.

Oh so funny

I had tears rolling!



After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly Rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits.
Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus’s birthday as a bit if a treat.
I ordered it well in advance and working in the North Sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types…Oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was.
I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn’ have long to wait.
At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head.
Religion hadn’t featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the the destruction of the meat and two veg.
Struggling not to bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel off in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen, by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief.
I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, toe the lid off and positioned it under me.
The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing returned. Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn’nt managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon.
I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and an tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse.
This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found its way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running its engines behind me.
This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain.
The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before. Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering arhhh ooooohhh that feels good ahhh Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn’nt heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction.
I can understand that having a sprout fired against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasent the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn’t improve my status so to sum it up, VEET removes hair, dignity and self-respect.

Image may contain: one or more people and text

Typical. I just paid it.

Annual NCEA fee of $76.70 scrapped for ‘stronger’ education system

Amber-Leigh Woolf10:31, May 13 2019
The Government is putting the 'free' back into free education, Education Minister Chris Hipkins says.
The Government is putting the ‘free’ back into free education, Education Minister Chris Hipkins says.

The families of secondary students will no longer have to pay fees for NCEA and NZ Scholarship.

More than 145,000 households are estimated to benefit from the removal of the $76.70 NCEA fee that families pay every year.

Education Minister Chris Hipkins said as part of the Wellbeing Budget they were abolishing fees to make things a bit easier for families.

More than 145,000 households are estimated to benefit from the removal of the $76.70 NCEA fee that families pay every year.
More than 145,000 households are estimated to benefit from the removal of the $76.70 NCEA fee that families pay every year.

“It is another step by the Coalition Government to put the free back into free education.”

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The Government is also funding the continued roll out of the NCEA Online programme so students can opt to sit their exams using a PC or laptop.

The Government is also funding the continued roll out of the NCEA Online programme so students can opt to sit their exams using a PC or laptop.
The Government is also funding the continued roll out of the NCEA Online programme so students can opt to sit their exams using a PC or laptop.

“This reflects the way students already interact with the world and how they are doing much of their learning, and it helps to prepare them for their next steps after school,” Hipkins said.

The removal of fees was one of a number of improvements to the NCEA announced today.

It follows a year-long review which 16,000 New Zealanders took part in.

“These improvements are a major step towards making the respected and valued NCEA more relevant for students.”

The changes addressed issues which had build up over time, Hipkins said.

“Over-assessment has been swamping students and teachers and getting in the way of actual learning, and the current reality is that some students can finish school with gaps in their knowledge and skills.

“Some young people don’t cover all the learning that is important and there has not been a strong enough focus on literacy and numeracy.”

The changes would make NCEA more credible and robust, he said.

“Considering that only around a third of Year 13 school leavers go into degree-level study, it is vital we do more to prepare all students for successful transitions into vocational training, work, or further studies.”

Teachers would get more time to teach, he said.

“[It’s] a shift away from fragmented, small assessments towards larger, more unified blocks of learning and assessment.”

Improving support for students to undertake NCEA through Māori-medium education was “long overdue”, he said.

“The default choice that many whanau face is to revert to English-medium schooling at secondary level.

“The Government has already announced more investment to recruit and train teachers fluent in Te reo Māori.”

National Party education spokeswoman Nikki Kaye said there was still a lot of detail to be worked out, but they generally supported the move to scrap the fees.

“The scrapping of fees will reduce barriers to NCEA and will see more young people have their qualifications recognised.”

There were too many standards, creating large workloads for teachers and students, she said.

“We believe it is important to ensure that changes trade a little bit of NCEA’s vast flexibility for fewer, bigger standards that equip young people with the essential knowledge and concepts from each subject area.”

The strengthening of numeracy and literacy would make a huge difference in the lives of young people, she said.

“We know that nationally, expectations can and should be higher, and that schools and students will rise to the challenge.”

National has previously raised concerns about the risk of NCEA Level 1 being scrapped. “We are pleased it will remain an option for schools.”

The Ministry of Education will work with stakeholders to confirm the detailed design and implementation plan by the end of the year, with implementation expected over four years starting in 2020.

Costs will be finalised by the end of the year.